to new beginnings

Maybe some people are meant to stay in the past.

i'm coming home

Have you ever feel like escaping from your own home? Not because you were feeling adventurous and just staying at home makes you feel like a sore loser. But because your home doesn't feel like home to you anymore. Like as if you were staying in a foster home instead; the people around you seemed foreign and none shares the same bloodline as you. As if you were staying with strangers instead of what you call as family.

Well I do. Every single day. Home never felt the same way as it used to be. I remember when I was little, I got separated from my parents, and both of them were so worried they might lose me. But I was not scared at that time, I was busy having fun. Maybe, just maybe, I was born independent, but I just don't know how to embrace it, yet. I think I can now. Now that everything is falling apart.

I got sick and tired of living in this house. I think every one of us is losing our minds; with all that shouting and screaming, and arguing back and forth, honestly it gives me major headaches. The pain was so intense, I could smash my head against my bedroom wall and paint it red. Even if I do, I doubt anyone would care. No one cares anymore in this house. Not even when I was held at gunpoint.

I am stuck in between four walls with no windows and doors, and day by day, they would inched closer and closer, suffocating me. I knew I was going to die, because I know no one will ever save me without sacrificing themselves. It is better to let one die than all of us altogether.

Proving a point in this house is never easy. It is as if you are talking (or screaming) to a brick wall. And I wish, that maybe, someone outside this house, could hear us. At least I know, there is more to life outside these four walls. I feel myself rotting in my own bedroom, locking myself, even skipping meals so I would not bumped into any one of them. There is no point. We were already strangers, passing each other like a ghost. There is no point.

My home is not my home anymore. It is somebody else's. I need to find my home.

unconditional

"Do you think it's possible
that some people are born to give
more love
than they will ever
get back
in return?"

- Tyler Knott Gregson //Chasers of the Light//

just friends

He said they were just friends but I know it is untrue. They talked. They hung out. They ate breakfast and dinner together. They stayed up late together. He gave so much of his time just to be with her. But with me, all he had given me were broken hopes and empty promises. Yet, he said they were only friends while he claimed I was the love of his life. Everyone in their right mind will know that is a lie. Even I think they were more than they said they were. As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. I hate to say it, but his actions screamed love. His actions towards her spoke louder than his promises to me.

stranger's eyes

We passed by each other almost everyday

but while I was hoping for you to acknowledge me

all you did was looked straight ahead

as if your eyes weren't familiar with mine

as if our eyes have never met before.

But they did.

separation

Their lips stained tears as they kissed goodbye.