vacation

She is putting her feelings and emotions on pause.

footprints

They left imprints in my heart and in the end, they became a memory I could never forget.

unhearted

She wears the angel's crown to cover up her devil's frown, and upon her broken chest lay a struggle between loneliness.

my message to you

A message to you girls.

Choose your best outfit and strut the streets like it is your runway. Wear as much make up to your heart's content. Buy all the expensive things you wish to own. Be confident and strong in the way you speak.

Do all of this for the sake of your own self, not for some guy. Do not let him see the real you if you think he does not deserve you. Women are born to be soft-hearted but that does not mean we are weak. Put a strong facade so he could not fool you. Always be strong.

But if he is still there for you, understands you, makes you feel safe and secure, slowly strip off your facade. Put your guards down. Be soft. Open up. Let him in. Wipe that make up of yours, layer by layer. Let him see your make up smeared eyes when you hit rock bottom. Let him paint his lips red when you had a great time. Change your fancy little black dress into comfy PJs. Converse about your life and let him fix you. Show your imperfections.

A message to you girls.

If he is falling for you, he is staying true. If he fell for you, all of your flaws would not matter to him. If he loves you, he will make you feel beautiful, unconditionally.

natural beauty

Now she planted flowers on her front porch because they make her feel beautiful.

finding Prince Charming

Every girls' dream as a kid is to be a princess; be it Cinderella, or Belle, or even the mermaid princess, Ariel. To be a princess, you need a beautiful dress, a pair of heels, and of course, a tiara. Imagine your 4 year old self, playing dress ups in your mum's closet, wearing her short dresses that reached your feet, experimenting with her make up (and get scolded afterwards cause you make such a huge mess from her ridiculously expensive make up collection), and wearing her shoes that is two sizes too big on you (not that I was saying I went through all of that cause I didn't. I was a pretty boring kid who munched down everything in the fridge). Nonetheless, I am pretty sure we went through all of that at one point (or thought about it).

So back in 2005, my school hosted the first ever Disney play, and it was Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Mind you, I studied in a single sex school so all the male parts will be played by females too. I bet everyone was eager to be Snow White cause who wouldn't right? Some said I was perfect for the part cause my skin literally screamed snow. But meh, who am I to play the most important part of the play? My seatmate, which is also my best friend (shout out to my home girl in the UK woot woot), got the part and I was super happy for her because she deserved it. She has beauty and brains, and she sings and plays the piano too. She was perfect for Snow White. I, on the other hand, was also given a part. I could say my part was also one of the main parts (I think) but appeared at the very last minute (save the best for last right? just kidding). I was Prince Charming. PRINCE CHARMING. No auditions, no nothing. It was like a gift I wasn't too sure if I should be thankful(?) for. I literally have no say in it cause come on, I was only 10, and arguing with my teacher was not on my bucket list (unless I have a dead wish or something) and I was trying to keep a clean record (right). But yeah, I was excited for the part anyways and I did an awesome job by the way (pats self on the back), like no one could ever killed that part other than me (cause I act like a guy half of the time anyways heh).

My point is, being Prince Charming, having to go through all of that made me realize, what did Snow White feel when she met Prince Charming? When she opened her eyes to the sight of the love of her life, her Prince Charming (I am not saying my best friend was gay cause she definitely is not but from a real Snow White's perspective).

I wonder if I will ever find my own Prince Charming. Being Prince Charming at 10, was a challenge for me because one, I am young and a girl (duhh) and two, I wanted to act how I want my Prince Charming to treat me someday. Maybe I have high expectations, or maybe I am too picky, but everyone deserves to be treated how they wanted to be treated by their loved ones. No one deserves to feel a sense of hopelessness in their life, especially not from their Prince Charming.

So here's to my Prince Charming, I would love to be your Princess someday.

P. S I will be here waiting for you.