possessed

I was as pure as river

but now I think I'm possessed

You put a fever inside me

and I've been cold since you left.

feel free

It's okay.

Trash talk me.
Forget about me.
Regret falling for me.
Call me a witch.
Do whatever.
Say whatever.

It's okay.

I can take the hit.
You just proved that you can't handle me.
I have warned you but you insisted.
Now you have tasted my evil spell.
Don't tell me I did not warn you.
Remember, you insisted.

run

"I didn't run away from you. I run to you."

sincerity

It is more than just a sentence. It is the action that counts.

colours 2.0

Art is not what I create,

what I create is chaos.

colours 1.0

You were red

and you liked me 'cause I was blue.

When you touched me

and suddenly I was a lilac sky.

And you decided purple

just wasn't for you.

garden

You think my bruised knees are sorta pretty

and I think your tired eyes are kinda nice.

left wrist

He held her wrist too tight. But little did he know, he was slowly killing the beats of her heart.

waiting game

I stayed silent not because I don't trust you. I just think that maybe you weren't ready to hear my thoughts just yet.

a taste of your own medicine

Never judge anyone because in reality the person you are judging is a reflection of yourself. So think twice before you do. If you are trying to let someone down, you are actually trying to pull yourself down too.

u-turn

If love is what you seek from me, you came to the wrong place.

vacation

She is putting her feelings and emotions on pause.

footprints

They left imprints in my heart and in the end, they became a memory I could never forget.

unhearted

She wears the angel's crown to cover up her devil's frown, and upon her broken chest lay a struggle between loneliness.

my message to you

A message to you girls.

Choose your best outfit and strut the streets like it is your runway. Wear as much make up to your heart's content. Buy all the expensive things you wish to own. Be confident and strong in the way you speak.

Do all of this for the sake of your own self, not for some guy. Do not let him see the real you if you think he does not deserve you. Women are born to be soft-hearted but that does not mean we are weak. Put a strong facade so he could not fool you. Always be strong.

But if he is still there for you, understands you, makes you feel safe and secure, slowly strip off your facade. Put your guards down. Be soft. Open up. Let him in. Wipe that make up of yours, layer by layer. Let him see your make up smeared eyes when you hit rock bottom. Let him paint his lips red when you had a great time. Change your fancy little black dress into comfy PJs. Converse about your life and let him fix you. Show your imperfections.

A message to you girls.

If he is falling for you, he is staying true. If he fell for you, all of your flaws would not matter to him. If he loves you, he will make you feel beautiful, unconditionally.

natural beauty

Now she planted flowers on her front porch because they make her feel beautiful.

finding Prince Charming

Every girls' dream as a kid is to be a princess; be it Cinderella, or Belle, or even the mermaid princess, Ariel. To be a princess, you need a beautiful dress, a pair of heels, and of course, a tiara. Imagine your 4 year old self, playing dress ups in your mum's closet, wearing her short dresses that reached your feet, experimenting with her make up (and get scolded afterwards cause you make such a huge mess from her ridiculously expensive make up collection), and wearing her shoes that is two sizes too big on you (not that I was saying I went through all of that cause I didn't. I was a pretty boring kid who munched down everything in the fridge). Nonetheless, I am pretty sure we went through all of that at one point (or thought about it).

So back in 2005, my school hosted the first ever Disney play, and it was Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Mind you, I studied in a single sex school so all the male parts will be played by females too. I bet everyone was eager to be Snow White cause who wouldn't right? Some said I was perfect for the part cause my skin literally screamed snow. But meh, who am I to play the most important part of the play? My seatmate, which is also my best friend (shout out to my home girl in the UK woot woot), got the part and I was super happy for her because she deserved it. She has beauty and brains, and she sings and plays the piano too. She was perfect for Snow White. I, on the other hand, was also given a part. I could say my part was also one of the main parts (I think) but appeared at the very last minute (save the best for last right? just kidding). I was Prince Charming. PRINCE CHARMING. No auditions, no nothing. It was like a gift I wasn't too sure if I should be thankful(?) for. I literally have no say in it cause come on, I was only 10, and arguing with my teacher was not on my bucket list (unless I have a dead wish or something) and I was trying to keep a clean record (right). But yeah, I was excited for the part anyways and I did an awesome job by the way (pats self on the back), like no one could ever killed that part other than me (cause I act like a guy half of the time anyways heh).

My point is, being Prince Charming, having to go through all of that made me realize, what did Snow White feel when she met Prince Charming? When she opened her eyes to the sight of the love of her life, her Prince Charming (I am not saying my best friend was gay cause she definitely is not but from a real Snow White's perspective).

I wonder if I will ever find my own Prince Charming. Being Prince Charming at 10, was a challenge for me because one, I am young and a girl (duhh) and two, I wanted to act how I want my Prince Charming to treat me someday. Maybe I have high expectations, or maybe I am too picky, but everyone deserves to be treated how they wanted to be treated by their loved ones. No one deserves to feel a sense of hopelessness in their life, especially not from their Prince Charming.

So here's to my Prince Charming, I would love to be your Princess someday.

P. S I will be here waiting for you.

to write love on her arms

She had scars on her arms,

with every stroke tells a story.

These scars became a remembrance,

of how her perfection turns to flaw.

These scars became a memory,

from all the battles she endured.

These scars became a tattoo,

a self-inflicted pain.

She had scars on her arms,

to remind her she was only human.

human

When one does not give you moral support

you became your own backbone

but your spine could not take that much pressure on its own.

It's okay
if you are still standing
you are still surviving.

horizon

You are my heaven but maybe I am your hell.

on hiatus

Hey, sorry if I haven't been posting anything lately because I am extremely busy with my assignments and I have tons of shit needed to be done. On top of that, I am sick, like really sick. I will be posting more when I'm on break. Thank you for all your patience and understanding.

Love,
S.

x

soon

The day you give up is the day when I give up.

supervillain

I thought you were the hero of my book, but you were just a villain that destroys everything.

his words

His words were no longer words.

His words became hopes.

His words became promises.

His words broke me to pieces.

closest

He was the closest thing I have got to anything.

barely winning

Everyone might have left me stranded in my own evil thoughts, but know this I am trying my best to win the battle for you. I might have lost you, but I will not lose to the devil inside me.

it will be okay

With everyone gone, I just feel lonely. The emptiness questioned my every being. Is it a good kind of empty, or a bad kind of empty? Either way, it made me think, that maybe feeling empty is okay once in a while.

let it out

Her screams spoke more than the words she left unsaid.

you had me at hello

Hey you, whom I have known for almost 8 years, said you will always be there for me, through my ups and downs, I fell in and out of love with you, but we haven't talk for a year now. I hope you are happy with that girl of yours. She is pretty. She was a friend of mine.

Hey you, whom I have known for a year or so, said you will always cheer me up, whenever I'm feeling down, we had a deep heart to heart talk at my front porch, but we haven't talk for months now. I hope you are happy with that girl of yours. She is lovely. She was my friend's sister.

Hey you, whom I have known for four years, said you will always come back for me, even though you were always the one who leaves me, we shared a connection, but we haven't talk for days now. I hope you will be happy with the girl that caught your attention. I bet she is beautiful. She will mean everything to you.

skinned

They say actions leave impressions
but words leave scars.

unwondered

Be worried when she stops writing
Because she has just lost the wonders in her fingers.

quitting

When you are so lost in your thoughts

that none of your writing makes sense anymore.

apocalypse

The day I no longer care

is the day when I stop picking up my pen.

thoughts

"You should stop thinking too much."

"I can't, when they are all about you."

words

The longer I stand here

The louder the silence

I know that you're gone but sometimes I swear

That I hear your voice when the wind blows

So I talk to the shadows

Hoping you might be listening cause I want you to know

It's so loud inside my head

With words that I should have said

And as I drown in my regrets

I can't take back the words I never said.

love me not

The problem with me is that when one starts to care or starts to love the real me, I get really scared and anxious. I'm scared he might love me too blindly, and I might hurt him too deeply. He will get tired of my true self, for every word spoken to him, kills him slowly inside. He might say he is still okay, that he would still be there for me. But my words will cut deeply into his flesh and bone, bleeding him out. And it kills him to say he was wrong all this time, but it will kill him eventually if he decided to stay for a little while.

the feeling

Am I in love with you

Or am I in love with the feeling?

Trying to find the truth

But sometimes the heart is deceiving

Can't get out of my head

I need you to save me

If I am delusional then maybe

I'm crazy in love with you.