carry me with you

"I don't want to promise this but I'll try my best not to leave you behind while I'm moving forward."

a prayer

Dear God,

I am tired of being who I am now; a constant failure to the world. Please give me back my confidence and my courage. I need to prove to them that my existence worth more than just a gift from You to my parents. I need to show them that I am alive for a reason, not just a failure. Please chase away the demons that haunt me every night, the eery whispers that echoes in my ears, the thoughts that left me suicidal, everything that could put me in a bad place. Please, I am begging you. I am tired of being depressed, feeling like crap every single time. I want to be like them too. I want to be happy with myself.

safety and comfort

All her life, Sadness always feels like her existence isn't good enough for the world. Until, she met Safety and Comfort.

Safety gave her protection; she feels safe whenever he is around. Whenever Sadness starts to feel insecure about herself, Safety came and rescue her.

Comfort calms her down; she feels peaceful whenever he is around. Sadness is always mad at the world but Comfort always tells her don't, cause everything will turn out okay eventually.

Sadness feels a strong bond between these two, that maybe with them around, she can be Happiness again. But every time she feels hopeful, everything turned out disastrous. She lost Safety. She lost Comfort. She was back to being alone.

give me time

Give me time to recover

from all that I have been through.

Give me time to erase

all of the bittersweet memories.

Give me time to learn

what love is really all about.

Give me time to fix

all of the mistakes I made.

Please give me time

cause it takes a lot of time for me

to trust anyone after this.

regrets

"Timing is irrelevant when two people are meant for each other. It's what I once believed.

But we met during a time where I was such a mess, when I still had so much to figure out. How could I have known how crucial every word, every action was or how losing you would be something I would always regret?

If only you could have met me now, how different it would be. How much I have changed. How I have grown. I learned so much from all the mistakes I have made with you. I just wish I had made them with someone else."

- Lang Leav //Lullabies//

growing up

At the age of 6,

I know how pain feels like.

At the age of 12,

I know time heals wounds.

At the age of 16,

I know love exists.

At the age of 18,

I finally know how to numb the pain.

happiness

Happiness is expensive, I can't afford it.