blank canvas

I am like a blank sheet of paper; white and empty. While others are pages full of words. I am waiting for mine to be written, to be doodled, anything to keep me less empty. I am still waiting for something great to happen, something to fill this blank piece of paper of mine. I was written before, but no words were good enough to fill the emptiness; another paper crumpled and thrown to the bin. I lay alone on a table, waiting and watching while others' were beautifully written by hands of a poet, by fingers of an artist. They were published, they were sold as a masterpiece. They were made into paperbacks, into portfolios. They were brought around for recognition. But me, I am still lying on the table, feeling blank and empty. Nothing good has ever happened to me, nothing worth to be written down on, nothing. Because a blank canvas will remain empty.

like a rubic's cube

You are so complicated, I just can't.

sealed lips

"Okay, I don't have anything nice to say. You always say you don't want to hurt people but you always end up hurting them indirectly, and then put the blame on them. I made it obvious I don't like the guy but you still carried on talking about him, to me. So yeah, you can do whatever you want. I have nothing else to say."

impossible

I saw you walking around town with a girl I knew could have been yours. The two of you looked perfect together with matching smiles. It could have been us, but what was I thinking? The thought of us together was ridiculous and merely impossible.

a message to you girls

To all the girls who has never got their hearts broken,

Do not listen to all those sweet nothings.

Do not expect too much from them.

Do not plan your future with them.

Do not get fooled by their looks.

Do not trust every single word they said.

Do not make promises with them.

Please, do not fall in love.

deadly obsession

The thought of you with someone else pains me to the point where I want you dead, and I can be dead with you, so no one else can have you but me.

unspoken love

I am touched by the silence

in between our moments of closeness.

There were no words spoken

but I can hear every word you said

with every beat of your heart.

fast times

We used to be close, really close.

I told you my story, you told me yours.

We were there for each other, from the beginning.

But things have changed, as time goes by.

You have your own life, I have mine.

Now we were never there, not anymore.

lost

I lost the love I love the most.

breathe again

All I had, all I need, is the air I would kill to breathe.

peaches

It is in you, to carry on.

a killer

You thought I wouldn't do such things, but I have killed most of you in my dreams.

car radio

Sometimes quiet is violent

I find it hard to hide it

My pride is no longer inside

It's on my sleeve

My skin will scream

Reminding me of who I killed

Inside my dream

I hate this car that I'm driving

There's no hiding for me

I'm forced to deal with what I feel

There is no distraction to mask what is real

I could pull the steering wheel.

a beautiful mess

Every morning

she would look into her bathroom mirror

and wonder who is the girl

staring back at her.

She looked dead in the eyes

chapped lips and crooked smile

with skin as pale as winter

covering her whole flesh and blood.

She touches her flaws

eyes, nose, mouth and cheeks

but her wrists were the most beautiful

full of scars; memories.

She remembers every one of them

the good and the bad

she cut to stop the pleasure

she cut to numb the pain.

So every night

she would look into her bathroom mirror

and adore her beautiful creation on her wrists

each stroke, each cut, represents a hidden memory.

maniac in love

He watched her with burning passion. Everything she does, screamed beautiful; from the way she smiles at strangers, to the way she talks with pure sweetness in her voice. Honestly, she drives him crazy, to the point where all he could think about is her, like a maniac in love.

my everything

He watched her sitting at the sidelines, busying herself with a book she borrowed from the library every Monday. Slowly, she smiled at something she read, oh what a lovely view. It's already 4 in the afternoon, the cheerleaders are already warming up for practice, and I can see her watching them with awe and a tint of sadness. She wishes to become one of them, but I can see from her features, she believed she wasn't good enough to cheer, wasn't pretty enough to be a part of the team, wasn't popular enough to be seen around them. But little did she know, I believed she was everything I could dream of having.

wrist watch

She walked the roads in search of life. The time on her wrist tells her that she has eleven more days to live, when it used to be more. Everyone was still enjoying life, more days to spend, but hers got lesser and lesser each day. Soon it will be ten, then nine, and next would be eight. She looked up at the sky, intrigued by the shades of blue, colouring the skies. She never noticed how beautiful the sky is until now. Maybe if she had more days, she would noticed the little things the world has to offer. But she spent them with love; loving a guy who has more days to live, hoping he would feel the same way towards her day by day until it is time for her to go. She thought that maybe he would love her more, now that time is limited for her. But that is not the case. He let her go, in fear he would be alone without the one he loves. She let him go soon after, in fear he might break the time on his wrist because it was too much for him to handle and decided to go with her instead. So here she is, walking and taking everything as much as she can before she has a day left to live.

blinded love

I have fallen in love with a guy I knew by heart, but not by sight. I have cared him more than I cared about myself even when he is invisible to my eyes. I adored him through his personality, and not from pictures I have of him, of which I am not sure of. He is a stranger to the public, to me even. Yet, I couldn't quite pinpoint how did I fall in love with someone who I have not met, but brave enough to start a relationship. It is honestly difficult, but it is harder to even let him go.

hatred

As much as I hated your presence for a while now, I hated the fact that your absence is what bothers me most at the moment.

unlike fairytales

If love was a fairytale

I wouldn't be lying in bed

since daylight

feeling hopeless

and heartbroken.

If love was a fairytale

I wouldn't be sipping hot cocoa

alone with silence

while my tears dripping

like a river overflowing.

If love was a fairytale

it wouldn't hurt seeing you

with someone else

holding hands and pecks on the lips

like how we used to.

If love was a fairytale

it wouldn't hurt getting my heart broken

but love is not a fairytale

it is true and real

and I wish it didn't exist.